Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Voila! Insta-post!

I was doing a little bit of computer housekeeping this morning and found this post that I never published. Seeing as how I'm trying to make more time to write my novel, this comes in VERY handy! I'm off to write...happy reading!

When the going gets tough...the tough ask for help!

So many of us mothers feel like we have to go it alone in the world, so that we can keep up the image of Supermom. I can't even tell you how many times I've been in a rut, but my pride stands in the way of asking for help. A million questions run through my mind. What if that other mom thinks I'm weak? What if they say "no"? What if they're too busy already? 

Why do we do it to ourselves?

Three years ago, my husband and I decided that we wanted to move out of South Florida. We knew we wanted to have a few more kids - we only had one at the time - and we knew that we would be more comfortable in a bit bigger house. Unfortunately, the housing prices in Florida were at an all-time high, so the bigger house was out of the question for us, at least in Florida. We looked elsewhere, and fell in love with North Georgia. We were so grateful when he found a wonderful job, we were able to build our own home, and we found a church that we loved. We packed up and made the move without another thought. 

What we didn't take into careful consideration, was the fact that we were moving away from our ENTIRE family, his and mine. Call us crazy, but we didn't think it would be that bad. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "You don't realize what you've got, 'till it's gone"? Well, we didn't realize what we had being surrounded by family - until we weren't!

I got pregnant with our second son shortly after we moved. While chasing around my toddler and getting bigger by the day, I realized how tired I was, and it finally dawned on me that we were alone. No one to call for a quick break from parenting. No one to call for a date night out. No one to call when all three of us got sick with the flu and had to take turns taking each other to the hospital. 

No. One. 

What had we done?

I struggled with asking people I barely knew for help. I'm one of those people who doesn't want to be a burden; I'll find a way to do everything myself. However, I learned very quickly that I either had to swallow my pride, or risk having a mental breakdown! 

Pride swallowed, I began to ask. I enlisted kind neighbors, other moms I had met at church, and I searched endlessly for a responsible babysitter. Finally, I had help. Maybe not as awesome as having family nearby, but pretty awesome all the same.

I've done the pride thing with God, too. It's hard to take off the cape and admit I can't do it all. No, Lord, I don't need your help, I can do this by myself. And we all know how that turns out, right? I've learned - the hard way -  to go to God FIRST, every time I have a problem that needs fixing, instead of trying to fix it myself. 

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Do you have trouble asking for help, from God or anyone else? What is holding you back?


  1. What a great post! I'm guilty of being to proud to ask for help many times. Especially when it comes to asking God. Why is it we always think we can do it ourselves?

  2. YES! I definitely have trouble asking for help. I think...and this is horrible, but I think I might be somewhat of a control freak. Then I drive myself crazy and it's entirely my own fault because I just need to let go and ask. I have a wonderful husband and a supportive family, all of whom would jump in and help anytime. Great post and great reminder, Beth!

  3. I'm very independent! So asking for help is incredibly hard for me! But with little ones, it's so important that we get that time "off." When my oldest were really little, I hired the neighbor girl to come play with them so that I could have down time!

  4. Wonderful and wise words, Beth.
    You are right: pride is what causes us to not want to ask for help. Even Jesus needed help to carry His cross, so He could help us out of our sins.