I sat in Starbucks this morning, (thankfully without loud cellphone talking guy) typing furiously away on my novel, piecing together a scene between my main character and her current love interest, when a tidal wave of negative thinking hit me square between the eyes.
This is crap. I have no plot, my characters are flat, and I've wasted nearly 30,000 words to tell part of a story that absolutely no one will want to read. Yep, this whole thing is a giant, steaming pile of C-R-A-P.
I have no idea where it came from (actually it might stem from the fact that I'm not feeling well, am overtired, and just generally grumpy lately - which in and of itself is enough to bring this big baby to tears), but it nearly brought me to tears. This is the first time I've faced this overwhelming sense of self-doubt, and I'm thinking, no, I'm pretty sure, that this won't be the last time this happens to me.
So what did I do? I stopped writing for a little while to get out of my own head, and I started perusing the blogosphere in search of something, ANYTHING to take my mind off of my general suckiness (if that's even a word...and if it isn't, it SHOULD be).
In my searching, I came across this post by Natalie Whipple over at Fact and Fiction (Natalie also happens to be represented by the agent/blogging hero that is Nathan Bransford). It pretty much said exactly what I needed to hear in that moment to allow me to keep writing, whether it was crap or not. It's not about my talent, it's about my skill.
All of us struggle at one point or another in this writing journey, but having a community of other writers just a keystroke away makes it just that much more bearable. So thanks, to all of you agents/editors/publishers/fellow writers, for putting your experiences down for the rest of us to read.