Momisms

A great friend of mine from college, Lauren, recently opened a discussion on Facebook asking her friends to post their "momisms". For example, Lauren shared this little gem: I have mastered the art of a quick shower...I am a mom.


Below are just some of the awesome responses. I've taken the liberty of borrowing some of them and fixing them because I'm anal like that, so that they all sound the same. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did.

• I have realized I will never be on time for anything again in my life. I have gone to work with spit up in my hair and not noticed till noon...I am a mom.
• I have realized I will not be able to poop alone for many years...I am a mom.
• I have an arsenal of statements at the ready so that I don't have to share my food (This is too spicy for you, Oops - I ate it all, This is really gross - you don't want this) ...I am a mom.
• I have learned to eat an entire meal while nursing...I am a mom.
• I now look for coupons for Preparation H...I am a mom.
• At the store, I push a cart filled with about 50lbs of human before I ever even get to the supplies...I am a mom. *
• I fart in public and then blame the kid closest to me - works every time...I am a mom. *
• I know the names of every character in the cartoons and have seen almost every episode at least twice...I am a mom.
• There are days that I dont have time to brush my teeth till I'm going to bed...I am a mom!  
• I have perfected the evaluation of each successive cry of, "Dad!" by intensity, volume, and urgency, and no longer appear until actually needed...I am a mom. *
• I not only know all of the lyrics to the Spongebob theme song, as I am singing it with my 11 year old, the baby is spitting squash in my face and I don't miss a note...I am a mom.
• I have mastered using my left hand to hold my breast pump and painting my toenails with my right hand...I am a mom (with cute toes).*

*Denotes a personal favorite


What is your momism? Feel free to chime in. Dads and parents of furry kids are welcome too!