Monday, July 12, 2010

Holy White Knuckled Driving Batman!

Did you miss me? I missed you.

So I just returned from a (rather long, surprisingly disconnected from technology) vacation. That's one of the joys of having a teacher for a spouse...summer break! We did some time (not of the jail variety...although I could've been arrested for driving too slowly on the Freeway in California, as you'll see below) in South Florida with our respective families and had a great time. The beaches were unmarred by oil (thank the Lord!), and we got appropriately sunburned. Then my sweet mom and I got to escape sans husbands/kids/grandkids to Los Angeles for my cousin's wedding.


Let me just say, I don't know how people live in LA. I really don't. Yeah, I get the whole "sunshine and cool breezes all the time" thing. But that is NOT what we experienced while we were out there. Of course it wasn't, because we had packed for JUST THAT KIND OF DREAMY CALIFORNIA WEATHER. But no...NO! We land and walk into dreary, hazy, cold weather. Wait a second...I thought the destination on our tickets said Los Angeles...not Seattle (although I really do love Seattle for a visit. I couldn't live there, the weather is too depressing for this already medicated mommy). What's going on here?

Okay, so the weather stinks, but we're happy because it's still just the two of us. Just me and one else to feed, take to the bathroom, or look after but ourselves. BLISS! So we go get our suitcase (the one we had to pay extra for because we got, as my Dad puts it, "took" at the curbside check-in in Atlanta...which was such a delightful beginning to the trip), and make our way over to the rental car place to get our car. We had anticipated a really LONG line, and to our delight, there's not a soul in the place. We get our car (a mack daddy Crown Victoria BOAT of a car, since our Dodge Charger was unavailable), and really, this is where my belief in providence comes into play. We take one look at the car and laugh, because we are going to be driving this monstrosity all over chic, sporty sports car LA.


I have never been so thankful to have such a large vehicle IN MY LIFE. I thought Atlanta traffic was bad? Hooo buddy, was I dead wrong. Almost literally DEAD wrong. LA traffic is...really there are no words for it. Let's just say, if Ozzy Osbourne and Axl Rose had a love child, they would name it I-405.

People drive fast in Atlanta, but for the most part I'd have to say they're safe drivers. In LA? LA people drive fast AND crazy. They're in and out of lanes, texting, talking, all but sleeping while driving (although some drivers appeared to be doing even that). So. The Crown Vic? LOVE THAT BIG OL' CAR. I might just get one when I'm...I don't know, 80?

The wedding was beautiful and we had a fantastic time with my aunt and the rest of my cousins that we rarely get to see. I even got to see my cousin's new baby girl, who could possibly be one of the funniest and best babies I've ever met in my life. Our flight back to Atlanta went off without a hitch, and I smiled as we drove back to my house in traffic that didn't make me want to swerve off of the road and breathe into a paper bag for...THE REST OF MY LIFE!

There's a reason LA is the City of Angels. I'm just sayin'...


  1. Gotta love those big cars. I had to drive my ex-father-in-law's 70's Caddy in the Bay Area for a while. Needless to say, I stayed in the right lane. I drive a truck, I can park my truck in tight spaces, I can back my truck up with no issues. A boat of a Caddy? I can't tell you how many bushes I re-landscaped when parking that thing. The marinas were too full, so I had to put it somewhere.

    Glad you had a chance to get away with your mom, I bet you had a wonderful time. And, I'm glad you survived LA traffic, don't know if I could do it.

  2. Oh, I'm glad you are back safe. Our traffic in the Tampa Bay area of Fl is alot like Calif. But then....maybe not. I think it's always a good thing to get away for a bit. Sounds like you had a great time. Missed ya!

  3. Welcome bac. Glad the wedding was nice. Look forward to catching up with you.

  4. What a fun adventure! My husband (then fiance) called to tell me the territory his co. assigned to him...

    you guessed it...Seattle. We lived there over two years. It grew on me.
    ~ Wendy

  5. I grew up near Los Angeles and I remember those freeways. When we go back to visit Disneyland, I close my eyes and cringe as my husband tries to get us there alive.