Monday, April 4, 2011

How to Annoy Me/Charm Me

I am borrowing this idea from one of my favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong over at Dooce.com. She used to do these posts called "How to Annoy Me" and "How to Charm Me" and I thought I'd do something along those lines. It's a variation on my Love It/Hate It posts. My "How to Annoy Me" moments remind me a little of Mr. Heckles' Book of Grievances from the show Friends. (Which, I should mention, I miss so very, very much. However, shows like Modern Family and The Office take the edge off a bit, no?) On that note:

How to Annoy Me:
- Allow Steve Carrell to leave The Office.


How to Charm Me:
- Replace Steve Carrell with Will Ferrell!

How to Annoy Me:
- Let me pre-pay $20.00 for gas and then stop the pump at $19.37 and make me wait for five minutes while it slowly creeps its way to $20.00.

How to Charm Me:
- Serve that yummy, crunchy, awesome hospital ice at your gas station - and offer Coke, not Pepsi.

How to Annoy Me:
- Pull out in front of me in traffic with, like, 9 LADDERS dangling from the roof of your truck (or a bed full of used furniture tied down with a SINGLE ROPE).

How to Charm Me:
- Wave and smile (and not give me the finger) when I pass by you with an "Are you SERIOUS?" look on my face.

How to Annoy Me:
- Ask me if I'm tired, don't wait for me to answer, and then tell me I LOOK tired.

How to Charm Me:
- Say, "Has anyone ever told you that you look a little bit like..." and then name an insanely gorgeous celebrity. Even if you only said I look "a little" like that person, I'll take that compliment to the bank.

How to Annoy Me:
- Gift me with an entire loaf of fresh-baked bread. (Don't you know I have a carbohydrate addiction?)

How to Charm Me:
- Gift me with an entire loaf of fresh-baked bread. (See how quickly I forgive?)

How to Annoy Me (as previously seen on Facebook):
- Allow me to pre-sort my groceries into their rightful categories (i.e. frozen foods, dairy, fruits & veggies, meats, boxed & canned items) and then not pay any freaking attention to my efforts when you bag them. I realize that you make very little, grocery bagger, but if I pull one more frozen pizza from a bag full of cereal boxes, I WILL come for you*.

How to Charm Me (also seen on Facebook):
- Be my husband and bring me Butterfinger bites and Discs 1 & 2 from Mad Men Season 4 (Yep, he's a keeper).


That's it for now. Now you tell me: What annoys/charms you?

* I will also come for you if you forget to put my $9 mascara in the bag, because it will cost me that much in gas to come back to your store!


** Also annoying? Throwing your back out - which is what I did on Saturday (the very same day I wrote this post, and no, the irony is not lost on me).

3 comments:

  1. Ha! I love it, and I guess if they are going to take away Steve Carrell, then Will Ferrell is the only one to replace him! And those baggers? Don't they know that frozen pizza boxes sweat all over the dry cereal boxes? And if they put poultry in with my vegies, there is no forgiveness.

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  2. When did you become so funny? Have I just always enjoyed your humor and never realized because it is not written down? ...or has it developed through the experiences of raising two crazy boys. Regardless, I love you and appreciate your humor whenever it started. XOXO Your Broccoli

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  3. How to Charm me
    Is making this post

    How to Annoy me
    If you won't make a post

    Hehe, thanks for sharing those things.
    Great reading your blog.

    My blog : gourmette en or 

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