Monday, November 29, 2010

I might get out of bed for Edward

Today is Cyber Monday. I had no idea such a thing existed. You can do a heck of a lot of online shopping for really cheap stuff today if you need it, or couldn't get it on Black Friday. Confession: I'm not good at coupons. I envy the women who roll around the grocery store with binders and envelopes stuffed full of them. I've just never gotten the knack for it. Yes, I love getting a good deal, but I don't live for it. I don't wake up early in the morning for it. I know, my husband is a lucky, lucky man, isn't he?

Naturally, I don't do Black Friday. I don't really care if I can get something that costs fifty dollars for twenty, or something that costs five hundred for a hundred. Do not even whisper the words "3 in the morning" within earshot of me or there will be blood, and, trust me, it'll be yours.

What I didn't know (and discovered this year) is that you can still get some pretty awesome Black Friday deals at a normal hour, like noon. Our family ventured out of the house from our turkey-induced stupor at lunchtime the day after Thanksgiving to find something OTHER than turkey to eat. We got burgers, and after all that turkey y'all, those burgers were DI-VINE.

We decided after our lunch to poke around the stores in our burger joint area to see if there were any deals left to be had. And let me tell you...OLD NAVY T-SHIRTS FOR FIVE DOLLARS!!! AND CUTE SHOES 50% OFF AT KOHLS!!!

Okay, so I am kind of getting the Black Friday thing, and the idea of shopping online on Cyber Monday whilst still in my Twilight pj's is appealing. But I'm still not getting up at 3 in the morning for a t-shirt. Not even if it's free. Not even if you told me Robert Pattinson (Edward from Twilight - yes, I'm a loser) himself had worn it. Okay, maybe then I'd think about it.


P.S. You're welcome.

Did you get any good Black Friday deals? Did you know today is Cyber Monday?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Cautionary Tales


I've been cleaning for the last 2 days in preparation for my family being here for Thanksgiving. Cleaning, even though I'm sick and what I would really rather do is get into my bed and sleep until Thanksgiving Day when I hear my mom say, "Turkey's done!"

I don't know why I even bother, because I know that when my mother gets here she will absolutely insist on mopping my floors even though I've already mopped them and cleaning my stove even though...well, that one might be justified. Don't get me wrong, it's not like she whips out a white glove when she gets here to check for dust bunnies, it's just WHO SHE IS. My mom is an unstoppable domestic force, cooking and cleaning are her forte. Mine? Not so much.

Anyway, to my point: PEOPLE WITHOUT CHILDREN WHO ARE SOMEDAY PLANNING TO HAVE THEM, LISTEN UP, because I'm about to give you the best advice you will ever get. Are you ready?

DON'T BUY ANY MORE NEW THINGS. Why, you ask? Well, because YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN WILL DESTROY THEM. So that new furniture set that you think you just have to get before you have kids and have no money for any other selfish purchases? Yeah, they'll spill chocolate milk on it and you'll have to buy a new one anyway. So yeah, better hold off on that idea. Oh, and that expensive Persian rug you've been eyeing at Pottery Barn? Chances are they'll barf or pee on it, so pump the breaks a little bit. Mkay?

Whew. Good deed done for the day. Off to clean the toilets (and what I really mean is the floors AROUND the toilets because 3 year olds are also not good at aiming).

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

My Pen is Going on Holiday


"Going on Holiday" sounds so British, doesn't it? And on that British note, how excited is everyone that Prince William is finally engaged to Kate Middleton? I'm BEYOND excited. I'm a total Anglophile. I wonder if my husband will let me fly to England for the wedding?

Sorry.

I think my brain has gone into mush-mode post writer's conference. I can barely pick up the pen to write my grocery list, let alone start my second novel. I've decided that I'm taking a mini-break before I gear up to write the next book. And what better time to take a break than the holidays. Bring on the gravy, people.

In the meantime though, I'm going to practice p -- . Wait, let me try that again. I'm going to practice plo --. Hmm, once more. I'm going to practice PLOTTING. I ran into a ton of trouble with my first book for lack of planning. While I still very much enjoy sitting on the pantser side of the fence, I'm really striving with this second book to know where I'm going before I begin the journey. At least a little bit.

On that note, I want to direct you to Jill Kemerer's blog, because she's doing an excellent series on writing the synopsis before you write the book. Cool concept, huh? I think I might just try it, you know, after I'm done devouring every morsel of my mother's cooking and figuring out how to lose the weight so I can fit into my dress for the Royal Wedding next year. Ahem.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Oops, I did it again

I played with your heart...got lost in the game...oh baby baby.

No, I didn't get on here to sing old Britney Spears songs to you. (I do, however, feel like a SLAVE for you sometimes, Internet). ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for my unannounced absence last week. I took a small vacation and then my brain thought, "That was amazing. Let's do that for a bit longer, shall we?" But I'm back now, and can I just say HOLY IT'S NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING YET AND I HAVE JINGLE BELLS IN MY HEAD. People, you know how I feel about this. If you don't, you can read about it here. Christmas comes after Thanksgiving. AFTER. THE. TURKEY.

Okay, I feel a little better.

On this Mommy Monday, I just had to tell you about my favorite new product, and NO, I'm not being paid to say this. I was strolling through our local Walmart the other day (which I do frequently), and I came across these new greeting cards from Hallmark. They're called Edge of Motherhood and they are HILARIOUS. I'm always looking for ways to make my mommy friends laugh, and I am WISHING that I had come up with the idea for these myself. This one is a personal favorite:

*Photo courtesy of Google Images

Come on, you know you've done it too!

Feel up to writing your own mommy (or daddy) greeting card? Take a stab in the comments. I'll announce my favorite next monday! 

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Lessons Learned from My First Writer's Conference - Part 2


In last Wednesday's post, Lessons Learned From My First Writer's Conference - Part 1,  I shared with you that the publishing industry is totally subjective, something that you may or may not have already known.

I'd also like to share is that it is really helpful to decide what exactly you want to get out of the conference before you go. Are you wanting to learn more about the craft of writing? Do you want to learn more about the publishing process? Do you want to gain a better understanding of the legal aspects of the business? Do you need to be inspired by other authors who have already established themselves?

I was completely torn when it came to the course offerings. There were one or two classes that I KNEW I wanted to take, so I did. As for the others, I was a little bit lost. I made the mistake of not really honing in on what I wanted to learn from the courses they offered, so I don't think I truly maximized my experience in that way.

I did, however, take advantage of the opportunity to network with other writers, which I feel like was the most rewarding experience. The writing community is incredibly supportive (which I already know because of so many of YOU!), but I was really struck by the unspoken bond between myself and all of these complete strangers. I met a few people (the lovely Angie Mizzell, for one) who I know are going to do great things, and it totally energized me.

I also took it upon myself to get in front of agents and editors that I really wanted to meet. On that note, I have to admit that my first "meeting" with the lovely Rachelle Gardner was...in the bathroom! Now, I know you've heard the horror stories from agents about being pitched to in the bathroom, and I was WELL AWARE of that major faux pas, I assure you. I did not do that. What I did, however, was giggle when she came out of the stall...purely from the irony of it all. I'm sure she thought, "Who is this weird chick laughing to herself in the bathroom?" But I actually made a joke of it and told her I was absolutely NOT pitching to her in the bathroom. And you know what? She laughed. Who knew? AGENTS ARE REAL PEOPLE TOO!

Have you been to a conference? What lesson did you learn? Were you able to get what you wanted out of it?

Monday, November 1, 2010

Wherein I Chase The Garbage Truck Down The Street

So.

Mommy Monday started off with a bang - literally. Ran downstairs with my toothbrush still in my mouth to find my youngest child screaming because his art easel had fallen down on him. He wasn't hurt (it's not that heavy), but still not a great way to start a morning.

I blame the Halloween candy. He was probably trying to climb the thing, still shaking with the after effects of too much sugar last night. Y'all, we got an OBSCENE amount of candy. I'm blaming my husband not pointing any fingers or anything, but I think my kids might've knocked on every door in the neighborhood.

My oldest doesn't have school today, something about accreditation and whatnot. Really I just think his school is SUPER SMART not making kids come in the day after Halloween. I can't imagine the devastation THAT storm must leave in its wake. Oh wait, YES I CAN BECAUSE IT'S IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW.

So I throw my uber-hot, oversized sweatshirt on over my tank top and yoga pants (that I may or may not have slept in) and get both kids in the car to take little man to school. We make it there with less than a minute to spare, meaning a minute before drop-off ends and I will be forced to get out of my car in my uber-hot sweatshirt and yoga pants and WALK MY KID INTO SCHOOL LOOKIN' LIKE A HOT MESS. Phew.

But.

Then I get home and realize that the garbage truck is down my street, past my house...AND MY GARBAGE CAN IS NOT SITTING AT THE CURB. Which means it hasn't been put there, and my already overflowing trash has not been picked up. I hightail it out of my truck and into my backyard to grab the garbage can.

What happens next, I swear, is straight out of a movie. I have to FLAG DOWN the garbage truck driver in my HOT MESS OF AN OUTFIT and BEG him to stop and take my trash. And you know what he said?

"We only stop for the cute ones!"

Thank you, kind garbage man. Thank you very much.