Monday, November 22, 2010
I've been cleaning for the last 2 days in preparation for my family being here for Thanksgiving. Cleaning, even though I'm sick and what I would really rather do is get into my bed and sleep until Thanksgiving Day when I hear my mom say, "Turkey's done!"
I don't know why I even bother, because I know that when my mother gets here she will absolutely insist on mopping my floors even though I've already mopped them and cleaning my stove even though...well, that one might be justified. Don't get me wrong, it's not like she whips out a white glove when she gets here to check for dust bunnies, it's just WHO SHE IS. My mom is an unstoppable domestic force, cooking and cleaning are her forte. Mine? Not so much.
Anyway, to my point: PEOPLE WITHOUT CHILDREN WHO ARE SOMEDAY PLANNING TO HAVE THEM, LISTEN UP, because I'm about to give you the best advice you will ever get. Are you ready?
DON'T BUY ANY MORE NEW THINGS. Why, you ask? Well, because YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN WILL DESTROY THEM. So that new furniture set that you think you just have to get before you have kids and have no money for any other selfish purchases? Yeah, they'll spill chocolate milk on it and you'll have to buy a new one anyway. So yeah, better hold off on that idea. Oh, and that expensive Persian rug you've been eyeing at Pottery Barn? Chances are they'll barf or pee on it, so pump the breaks a little bit. Mkay?
Whew. Good deed done for the day. Off to clean the toilets (and what I really mean is the floors AROUND the toilets because 3 year olds are also not good at aiming).