Work It, Girl

I know, I know, I did it again. I left you all for a week with no warning. HOWEVER, I had good reason, I swear!

MOMMY GOT A J-O-B! That's right, I am going back to work...FULL TIME. Last week was spent scrambling around trying to find interview clothes (thanks, Jodi), remembering how to put makeup on so it didn't look like my four-year-old did it (thanks, YouTube), re-learning how to walk in heels so I didn't break my freshly makeup-ed face (thanks, Carrie Bradshaw), and reviewing my dictionary for words other than "stop", "don't", "put that down", and "here, let me wipe that" (thanks, Merriam-Webster).

It was a success, and as of May 9th I am employed. I definitely have mixed emotions going into it - like how am I going to adjust from being home full time to being in an office full time (and away from my kiddos)? And also, how am I going to fit in any kind of writing with working full time and being mommy? I don't know the answers, but I know it's all going to be okay.

So. What does this mean for the good ol' blog, and for you, my wonderful friends? It means I need to go away for a bit. I wish I could say that I could pull this transition off and maintain the blog at the same time, but the truth is, I am not insane THAT organized! I wish I had a stockpile of posts just waiting for me to hit "publish", but I don't. I'm a pantser, a day-to-day kind of girl. So that's exactly what I'm going to do: take this day by day. I might pop in to post from time to time, but for now, I'm going to focus my energies and brainpower on settling into the new job.

You know I'll miss you. And in case you don't know...I'LL MISS YOU.

10 Breakout Prompts from Agent/Author Donald Maass

Plenty of people talk about Twitter, Facebook, and other social media sites and how important it is for you to get yourself out there. Build your platform! Build a following! But what is forgotten is how these social media sites are also HUGE TOOLS for a writer's toolbox. 

Here's just one more reason why if you're not on Twitter, you SHOULD be: Donald Maass. He is a literary agent and author whose books, Writing the Breakout Novel (and companion Workbook) and The Fire in Fiction, have made a huge impact on my own writing (and no, he hasn't paid me to say this). And I know plenty of other writers who would say the exact same thing (and I'm pretty sure he hasn't paid them either. But if you have, Don, you can mail my check to...).

If you are on Twitter*, you can follow him at @DonMaass. If you are not, I have pulled ten of his breakout writing prompts from Twitter and placed them here. Twitter is FREE, dear writers. And it isn't scary, I promise! It is full of hugely helpful FREE information that you might be missing out on! So without further ado...Mr. Donald Maass.

Which prompt did you find most helpful? And special thanks to Donald Maass, for just being his awesome self.

*You can also follow ME on Twitter @bethmann15

But I Love You

My youngest gets out of his bed AT LEAST 4-5 times at bedtime. And it doesn't matter how much I do to prevent it before he actually goes to bed. I'll put a snack and drink by his bed. I open the window to let him know that the noises he hears are just cars going up the street. I make him use the potty...twice. It doesn't matter. This is how it goes.

"Mommy, I'm hungry."
"Mommy, I'm thirsty."
"Mommy, I need to go potty."
"Mommy, I heard a noise."

After the first four, he has me so amped up that I'm ready to throw something (and it's usually aimed at my poor husband's head, because I can't take it out on the kid or the dog, now can I?). I march him back into his bed and tell him FOR THE LAST TIME that if he gets out again there will be serious consequences for his father.


Then, as I settle back onto the couch and put my freshly poured Coke to my lips, he's at it again. I huff and I puff like I'm going to blow the house down, but before I stand up my little guy says...

"Mommy, I just wanted to say I love you."

I love you too, you little emotional manipulator.


Does your kid drive you toward the brink of insanity only to melt your heart a moment later? Feel free to share :)

Some More of Something Borrowed

Okay, so I know I've already said this, but I am SO STINKING EXCITED for Something Borrowed the movie to come out (in theaters May 6 by the way). It is by far one of my favorite books (written by the lovely Emily Giffin).

Here's just another little sneak peak of the movie with cast interviews (and your daily John Krasinski fix - in case you didn't get enough of him on The Office last night. Lord knows I didn't!).

I apologize for the spillover of the screen into my sidebar, but I am not a technological genius like my husband (who is not around at the moment TO HELP ME).

Happy Weekend!

Book Order and Birth Order

To me, the order in which you write your books is a lot like the birth order of your children. When I had my first son, I obsessed over every tiny detail, from the moment I got pregnant until...well, I still kind of obsess about the details. Because he's my first. My trial run. The one where I learn what NOT to do, so I can make fewer mistakes with the second (and truth be told, you STILL make mistakes with the second, am I right?).

The same goes with writing your first book. When I first got pregnant, I read a ton of books on being pregnant and parenting, like What to Expect When You're Expecting, My Pregnancy Week by Week, and Babywise. (Parent note: DO NOT SKIP AHEAD IN THESE BOOKS, because you will completely freak yourself out and you will think that everything that could possibly go wrong in your pregnancy IS going wrong at that very moment. Trust me, I've done the research!)

Likewise, when I first got the idea to write a novel I started reading up on the craft of writing. I started with The Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing a Novel, because at the time, that's exactly what I felt like: a complete IDIOT. I also read On Writing, Plot & Structure, and Writing the Breakout Novel. Much like reading ahead in the parenting books, I completely freaked myself out writing my first draft, because I was so terrified that I was doing it wrong that it completely killed my confidence. (I recommend reading one book on craft, THEN writing the first draft the way you want to write it, THEN reading the rest of the books to perfect it in the editing stage.)

Did I get everything right with my first child? Only time will tell (and I'm sure his therapist will one day give me a definitive "no" on that one!). Did I get everything right with my first book? I can say with certainty NO. But I've learned...hoo boy, have I learned. And the second go 'round has been much more painless than the first.

What do you think? Does the first child/first book - second child/second book theory hold true for you? If you're not a parent, do you feel like your second book has come easier than the first?

The Old Bird Is At It Again

I'm posting Mommy Monday on a Tuesday again. Sorry to my readers who like predictability! There is, however, good reason for my waiting until today. It's my youngest son's fourth birthday. Yep, my baby is four. I know you're thinking, didn't they already celebrate a birthday? And yes, you're right, my oldest just turned six on Saturday. And here it is, Tuesday, and we're celebrating another (what can I say, July is a fun month in our house)!

This day is always bittersweet for me, because my little guy came into the world with some difficulty and spent a week in the NICU before we were allowed to bring him home. In the grand scheme of things, a week wasn't really all that bad compared to most of the kids who had been in the NICU for weeks, some months. But that week? It was the LONGEST, most terrifying week of my life. It also happens to be the one time in my life that I have actually felt the presence of God holding me together. I will never forget that feeling as long as I live.

And now, that tiny, five pound baby is thirty-five pounds, and so awesome that sometimes he takes my breath away.

Happy Birthday, wonderful Tyler. We love you so much!

Further Proof That I Am An Old, OLD Woman

Last Saturday, I went to a baseball game to support my husband (who is a coach) and to enjoy some of the beautiful weather we were having here in Georgia. Our team won (yea!), and then I threw my back out (boooo!). That's right. BACK. OUT.

The annoying thing here, is that I wasn't doing cartwheels or russians or anything even remotely cheerleader-y to celebrate our team's win. I hadn't so much as high-fived anyone. All I did was bend over to PICK UP MY KEYS from the bleachers where I had been sitting, and I suddenly felt like I had been stabbed in my lower back. I couldn't walk, couldn't crawl, couldn't BREATHE the pain was so bad.

So here I am, almost a week later, and I am still hobbling around like an old woman, wondering when the pain will get better. And if what I've been through the past week - trying to figure out who to see and what medication to take and just exactly what I did - is any indication of what being and old lady will be like THEN JUST KILL ME NOW.

Also, my oldest son is turning SIX this weekend. Which is a third of the way to eighteen. Which means if I blink again he will be driving and going away to college and getting married and LEAVING ME FOREVER. So yeah, time to start thinking about having another baby, honey! Think they'll give me the epidural, like, NOW?

Happy 6th Birthday, sweet Cody. Your very old Mommy loves you so much!

Happy Weekend, everyone! :)

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

I have never taken a picture that so accurately represents my life as a mom/writer. You will notice:

1) There is a laptop charger,

2) the laptop charger is covered in a mysterious brown substance that could be either a) poop from my three-year-old, since he still doesn't know how to wipe his own behind and likes to touch things that look like they might be a toy, b) dog poop, since she gets mad at me for ignoring her in favor of playing with my imaginary characters, one of whom has a cat, and my dog hates cats, or c) a chocolate bar - melted because I stuffed said chocolate bar into my computer bag so I would not have to share it with aformentioned three-year-old (selfish? yes. necessary to my sanity? absolutely.) and then accidentally put my hot laptop charger in the bag on top of said chocolate bar.

What do you think? Poop or chocolate? What would your picture look like?


* For the record, it's chocolate, and I will neither confirm nor deny eating it right off the charger.

How to Annoy Me/Charm Me

I am borrowing this idea from one of my favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong over at Dooce.com. She used to do these posts called "How to Annoy Me" and "How to Charm Me" and I thought I'd do something along those lines. It's a variation on my Love It/Hate It posts. My "How to Annoy Me" moments remind me a little of Mr. Heckles' Book of Grievances from the show Friends. (Which, I should mention, I miss so very, very much. However, shows like Modern Family and The Office take the edge off a bit, no?) On that note:

How to Annoy Me:
- Allow Steve Carrell to leave The Office.


How to Charm Me:
- Replace Steve Carrell with Will Ferrell!

How to Annoy Me:
- Let me pre-pay $20.00 for gas and then stop the pump at $19.37 and make me wait for five minutes while it slowly creeps its way to $20.00.

How to Charm Me:
- Serve that yummy, crunchy, awesome hospital ice at your gas station - and offer Coke, not Pepsi.

How to Annoy Me:
- Pull out in front of me in traffic with, like, 9 LADDERS dangling from the roof of your truck (or a bed full of used furniture tied down with a SINGLE ROPE).

How to Charm Me:
- Wave and smile (and not give me the finger) when I pass by you with an "Are you SERIOUS?" look on my face.

How to Annoy Me:
- Ask me if I'm tired, don't wait for me to answer, and then tell me I LOOK tired.

How to Charm Me:
- Say, "Has anyone ever told you that you look a little bit like..." and then name an insanely gorgeous celebrity. Even if you only said I look "a little" like that person, I'll take that compliment to the bank.

How to Annoy Me:
- Gift me with an entire loaf of fresh-baked bread. (Don't you know I have a carbohydrate addiction?)

How to Charm Me:
- Gift me with an entire loaf of fresh-baked bread. (See how quickly I forgive?)

How to Annoy Me (as previously seen on Facebook):
- Allow me to pre-sort my groceries into their rightful categories (i.e. frozen foods, dairy, fruits & veggies, meats, boxed & canned items) and then not pay any freaking attention to my efforts when you bag them. I realize that you make very little, grocery bagger, but if I pull one more frozen pizza from a bag full of cereal boxes, I WILL come for you*.

How to Charm Me (also seen on Facebook):
- Be my husband and bring me Butterfinger bites and Discs 1 & 2 from Mad Men Season 4 (Yep, he's a keeper).


That's it for now. Now you tell me: What annoys/charms you?

* I will also come for you if you forget to put my $9 mascara in the bag, because it will cost me that much in gas to come back to your store!


** Also annoying? Throwing your back out - which is what I did on Saturday (the very same day I wrote this post, and no, the irony is not lost on me).

When A Day Turns Into A Year

Sooo...yeah. I've been gone for more than a week. I didn't mean to ignore you all. Some stuff has come up over the last week and a half that has completely thrown me for a loop, and I have had no capacity for creative thought AT ALL.

Not to get all Terminator on you, but I'll be back. I'm hoping by next Monday, but I'm not even sure about that at the moment. Mommy's taking her Blogger hat off for a bit, to enjoy my family, to help my friends, and to recoup a little bit.

In the meantime, y'all stay out of trouble. And by all means, IF ANYONE GETS PREGNANT/MARRIED/GETS A BOOK DEAL YOU BETTER TWEET ABOUT IT!

Love,

Beth

If A Tree Falls In The Forest

This morning started off in an ordinary way -- making breakfast, watching cartoons, getting kids dressed for school...the regular mom routine. It wasn't until I dropped my oldest off at school at 9:30 that I turned on the radio and heard about the devastation in Japan caused by an earthquake, and subsequent tsunami. I was completely shocked. I'm still in shock.

We go about our lives sometimes, completely unaware that there is a world full of other people out there, and that a great number of them are suffering. I remember feeling a similar way when 9/11 happened. I was in London, England, and had just spent a beautiful morning walking through the Museum of London, completely unaware of the tragedy that was unfolding back home. 

Except this time it's not my homeland, it's someone else's.

My prayers are with the Japanese people, and anyone else affected by these natural disasters. 

This Is Why I Write

I read author Kiersten White's post yesterday about the publishing industry and how there are no shortcuts to getting to the top (and by top, I mean published). Now, I likened this post to a high school senior taking a new freshman under his/her wing and offering them a how-not-to-get-your-a**-kicked talk (even though I'd probably have to be on my knees in order for Kiersten herself to put me under her wing, because I am nearly six feet tall, and she is, well...not).

As you will see by her post today, not everyone understood her intentions, so she goes in a little deeper and explains her meaning (and, recognizing that her subject matter is rather heavy, offers a bit of lightness via Flight of the Conchords at the end, which is hilarious). This is my favorite excerpt from today's post:

"If you are trying to get published because you love writing, never lose sight of the why.  Don't get so focused on having a book that you lose the reasons you write those manuscripts in the first place.  Writing is amazing.  The best writers I know write because without writing they would be lost.  They write because of the sheer giddy joy of creation.  They write because they genuinely, unabashedly love telling stories.  They stick it out through the frustrations of drafting and the agonies of edits because they are deeply committed to what they are doing.  They move forward from rejection and failure because to quit writing is unfathomable, even if some days it feels like they would be far saner if they just gave up.  They perfect their craft because it's important to them that what they are writing and expressing is written and expressed in the best possible way." ~ Kiersten White (NY Times bestselling author of Paranormalcy and Supernaturally, out this August)


This is why I write. Thanks, Kiersten, for taking us all under your little wing. ;)

Taking The Mommy Hat Off

Being a mother is an incredible blessing, but it certainly doesn't come without challenges (many of which you can read on this very blog!). However, I have seen one too many news stories lately of mothers doing horrifying things to their children: abuse, abandonment, sometimes even death. It absolutely breaks my heart. Whether these acts are being carried out by frustration, desperation, mental illness, or a combination of the three, I can't help but think that they could've been avoided.

After I had my second son, I went through a bout with postpartum depression. At first, I didn't want to admit what I was feeling because I thought I would be judged. Christians don't suffer from depression, they've just lost their joy in Jesus! Someone put it to me this way: If you have a cold, you go to the doctor and get medicine to feel better. Well, your brain has a cold. So what are you going to do? That took some of the stigma out of it for me. I finally went to my doctor and he prescribed a low-dose anti-depressant that helped within days. I'm not saying drugs are for everyone, but I do want to take some of the shame out of admitting that we moms might need a little more help sometimes. I've since been able to wean myself off and feel better than ever.

There are seasons in our lives that are very busy, and more often than not, our needs will take the backseat to our children's/spouse's. But please, moms, take the time to care for yourself, too. It's okay to take the mommy hat off sometimes (but for goodness sake, remember to put it back on!). Schedule that doctor's appointment that you've been putting off; scrounge up some spare change and go have a manicure. Ask your spouse to give you some time away, and if he can't do it, find a babysitter who can. Can't afford a babysitter? Join or start a co-op with some friends, where you take turns watching each other's children. If all else fails, then by all means, put on a cartoon, lock yourself in the pantry, and eat that last cupcake that you were saving for your kid - trust me, you need it more than he does. 

All that to say, we moms have a tough job. There is no shame in admitting it, out loud. Tell a friend, tell your doctor, tell God. Just don't hold it all inside.

Favorite Things

It's Fun Friday, kids! So today I wanted to share one of my favorite things with you (like Oprah, except I'm too poor to actually give anything away, but if I could...YOU'D GET A CAR and YOU'D GET A CAR and YOU'D GET A CAR! Hee hee.). I mean, besides pancakes. And fountain drinks. And pretzel M&M's. Oh, and my children's laughter. Yes. That too. (Mom of the Year!)

This book, right here:

Something Borrowed, by the lovely Emily Giffin spurred me on to finishing my novel when I really didn't want to go any further. I had started it, and then fell into a rut. Then I read this book (and then ALL of her books), and it inspired me so much that I got back to writing again. And now... it's been made into a movie! Squee! I know I'm going to LOVE this movie (hello, John Krasinski from The Office! LOVE!). The only thing that stinks is that I have to wait until May to see it :( Here's the trailer:

 Happy Weekend! What's one of your favorite things?

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss

It is only appropriate on this Writer Wednesday to pay homage to the one and only...Dr. Seuss. 

Many of my favorite books as a kid were Dr. Seuss ones, and I find that even as an adult, his books still have meaning. For instance, Oh, The Places You'll Go! speaks to my life as a writer in an almost prophetic way, particularly the "waiting room" portion. That is exactly what I feel like in my writing journey -- waiting for the phone to ring, for a yes or a no -- how does he know so much about me?! 

Take a moment and listen to this reading of Oh, The Places You'll Go! (read by the talented John Lithgow) and tell me which part you identify with most as a writer. Are you one of the high flyers? Or are you in a slump? Or, like me, are you in the waiting place?

Spinning Is For Spinsters

Okay, that's not true. I'm just bitter because I fell of the wagon. Actually, I ate the wagon. Because it was filled with pancakes.

As I mentioned last week, my mom came for a week-long visit, wherein I ate pancakes LIKE IT WAS MY JOB. (OMG, can you imagine if your job really was eating pancakes for a living? Or Krispy Kremes? I know, I have issues. Moving on.) It is always bittersweet having her visit, because I LOVE having her here with me, but I HATE IT when she has to leave again. Especially when she is returning to South Florida and sunshine, leaving me here in Georgia with cloudy skies and rain...grrr.

Last week also officially began baseball season for my husband, who coaches Varsity baseball at the school where he teaches. Baseball Season = Single Mommy for a while. It's not my favorite time of year, but at least the sun is usually out and we can go to the games. Plus, I have a wonderful friend (HI JODI!!!) who is also a baseball widow (her husband is the head coach) and we have sleepovers with our kids to make it through those long weekends when the husbands are not around. KUDOS TO YOU SINGLE PARENTS OUT THERE WHO DO IT ALL YEAR LONG!!!

Remind me again why I decided to try and cut out carbs and do more exercise during baseball season? Because all I really want to do after a long day of being with children and cleaning up after children is sit on my fat butt and eat comfort foods like carbohydrates whilst drinking high fructose corn syrup flavored, caffeinated, carbonated beverages. IS THAT SO WRONG?

I'm In A Food Coma

Internet, the next time I decide to start eating right and exercising, remind me NOT TO INVITE MY MOTHER TO VISIT. I apologize for the unannounced break I've been taking, but I will return on Monday with plenty of things to entice you, I promise. Have I mentioned it's baseball season? Well, it is. Uneventful to the general public, but for this wife? Of a Varsity coach? THE INSANITY, I TELL YOU.

If you need me in the meantime, I'll be stuffing my face with pancakes. And bacon. And maybe even a biscuit. I KNOW - THAT'S DOUBLE CARBS! Did I mention it's baseball season? And I'm a single mother now? And my mommy is here to baby me for a week? STOP JUDGING ME, INTERNET.

See you Monday!

For The Music Lover

I was reminded yesterday that tickets for Bonnaroo go on sale tomorrow. If you're not familiar with Bonaroo, it is a 4-day music and arts festival held in Manchester, TN. I have always wanted to go to a huge music festival like this, where you basically camp out for four days and listen to some amazing music, but have yet to do so. It is on my bucket list, to be sure. That, and not showering for 4 days straight.

This year's lineup is especially wonderful, in my opinion, because Ray LaMontagne will be there. I had the chance to hear him live a few months ago when he opened for David Gray here in Atlanta, and it was spectacular. In addition to Ray, here are a few other artists that I LOVE LOVE LOVE that will be there, too. Click on the links to hear them for yourself.

The Decemberists - this band is like a mixture of some of my favorite 90's artists rolled into one: REM, Gin Blossoms, and Natalie Merchant.

Mumford and Sons - Love these guys. They're British, and we all know how I feel about British things, don't we? Plus, they use a banjo.

Iron and Wine - The vocals on some of these songs are absolutely heartbreaking, and I adore them (and yes, they are on the Twilight soundtrack, no judgement!).

Also, The Black Keys, Florence + the Machine, and Alison Krauss w/ Union Station.

That is only a small sampling of this HUGE event, but I just wanted to share some of my favorite music! Happy Weekend!

What's on your iPod/Pandora/radio?

*Photo courtesy of Google Images

A Love Letter To My Readers

Dear Reader,

I'm feeling a bit of residual Valentine's Day mushiness, so where better to dump it than on you?

I LOVE YOU...

I really do. 

Here are a few reasons why:

1) You've prayed for me, encouraged me, sent me warm and well wishes on days where I haven't felt quite up to speed.

2) You make me laugh (and several of you make me laugh on a daily basis).

3) You keep coming back here, even though sometimes I have NO IDEA why.

4) You make me feel a part of something BIG. 

5) You make me better -- your comments challenge me, they make me think, they give me energy.

I love being a writer, and I KNOW I AM A WRITER BECAUSE OF YOU.

My Love Language

My love language? 

It's not so much this...

As it is THIS...

(and in case you're wondering, yes, I look exactly this flawless when I sleep.)

Which is why my Valentine's Day card to my husband said:

I don't need a dozen roses to show me that you love me...

I just need an extra hour of sleep!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Hope you get what you need from the love(s) in your life.

Tell me, what's YOUR love language?