This is Why I Love the Internet

*Photos courtesy of Google Images. Canterbury Cathedral in England. This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in in person. The photo doesn't even do it justice!

Wondering why I chose those pics? Watch the video and you'll see :)

After yesterday's post, I was so grateful to read all of your encouraging and empathetic comments about how I was feeling. The more I thought on it, I realized that it's not just the writing life that causes me to feel insignificant at times. I feel it every once in a while about my parenting, my faith, my inability to do anything significant about things that seem so out of control (think natural disasters or child slavery). I think Wendy and Heather's comments really hit it on the head for me, so thanks girls!

 

And then, as I was attempting to pass on some of my newfound awareness and encouragement to a new blogger (check her out, Brooke at Bring About Art), I remembered something PROFOUND that I had the opportunity to see at a Women of Faith conference a few years back. Nicole Johnson does a skit called The Invisible Woman. 

I AM IN LOVE with this skit. I don't know why my brain couldn't recall this when I was feeling all melodramatic yesterday! If you have a few minutes, please go and watch it. If you've seen it before, WATCH IT AGAIN. I guarantee it will bless you again and again.

You are not invisible. You are not insignificant. You are TREASURED and you are LOVED by the God of the universe.

*I apologize to my male audience (all two of you ;P) for going all hormonal on you (but for the record, you are treasured and loved by God, too.). So to make up for it, watch this and tell me you didn't laugh. 

Voila! Insta-post!

I was doing a little bit of computer housekeeping this morning and found this post that I never published. Seeing as how I'm trying to make more time to write my novel, this comes in VERY handy! I'm off to write...happy reading!

When the going gets tough...the tough ask for help!

So many of us mothers feel like we have to go it alone in the world, so that we can keep up the image of Supermom. I can't even tell you how many times I've been in a rut, but my pride stands in the way of asking for help. A million questions run through my mind. What if that other mom thinks I'm weak? What if they say "no"? What if they're too busy already? 

Why do we do it to ourselves?

Three years ago, my husband and I decided that we wanted to move out of South Florida. We knew we wanted to have a few more kids - we only had one at the time - and we knew that we would be more comfortable in a bit bigger house. Unfortunately, the housing prices in Florida were at an all-time high, so the bigger house was out of the question for us, at least in Florida. We looked elsewhere, and fell in love with North Georgia. We were so grateful when he found a wonderful job, we were able to build our own home, and we found a church that we loved. We packed up and made the move without another thought. 

What we didn't take into careful consideration, was the fact that we were moving away from our ENTIRE family, his and mine. Call us crazy, but we didn't think it would be that bad. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "You don't realize what you've got, 'till it's gone"? Well, we didn't realize what we had being surrounded by family - until we weren't!

I got pregnant with our second son shortly after we moved. While chasing around my toddler and getting bigger by the day, I realized how tired I was, and it finally dawned on me that we were alone. No one to call for a quick break from parenting. No one to call for a date night out. No one to call when all three of us got sick with the flu and had to take turns taking each other to the hospital. 

No. One. 

What had we done?

I struggled with asking people I barely knew for help. I'm one of those people who doesn't want to be a burden; I'll find a way to do everything myself. However, I learned very quickly that I either had to swallow my pride, or risk having a mental breakdown! 

Pride swallowed, I began to ask. I enlisted kind neighbors, other moms I had met at church, and I searched endlessly for a responsible babysitter. Finally, I had help. Maybe not as awesome as having family nearby, but pretty awesome all the same.

I've done the pride thing with God, too. It's hard to take off the cape and admit I can't do it all. No, Lord, I don't need your help, I can do this by myself. And we all know how that turns out, right? I've learned - the hard way -  to go to God FIRST, every time I have a problem that needs fixing, instead of trying to fix it myself. 

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Do you have trouble asking for help, from God or anyone else? What is holding you back?

Sundays and Swimming Lessons

If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, then you'll know (hopefully) that I'm a Christian, and (hopefully) that hasn't scared you away from coming back :) I need to warn you though, the next paragraph is me getting all geeked up about church, so if that's not your bag you don't have to keep reading. I won't be offended. Although, if you're curious, then keep reading.

Deep breath.

This weekend we went to church, and OH MY GOODNESS, I LOVE MY CHURCH. 

Mostly, I love my pastor (Andy Stanley) and the vision that he has for our church. Our whole mission statement is "growing people into a lasting relationship with Jesus Christ". We like to think of ourselves as a church for the "unchurched", meaning, if you don't like church, then give us a try...and if you still don't like it - well, fair enough. 

Anyway, we're doing this really awesome thing where people can actually go online and watch a live streaming (not pre-recorded) of the entire service in progress, including praise and worship...from ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD as long as you have an Internet connection. Not that this should take the place of being in a local church and experiencing a community of believers, but what if you live in, say, the Middle East and don't have a Christian church right at your fingertips, but you have Internet? You can experience church! Can you tell I'm really excited about it? I am. It starts August 16th @ 6pm. Click on the link below for more information or to watch live on August 16th. 

Northpoint Online

Ok, moving on. Today, we were at the pool with the kids trying to enjoy one of Mike's last days off before school starts and he's back to teaching/coaching/filming/general craziness. Cody (who's 4) is still learning to swim, so we (and when I say "we" I mean that I tried and then Mike took over with all of his swimming superiority. Who played water polo senior year of high school and got an honorable mention?? UM, THAT'D BE ME DARN HUSBAND!) had him practicing kicking his legs and mastering the doggy paddle. 

Tyler (who's 2) is learning too, although his version of swimming is still more of a flail than an actual combined kick and paddle. Watching them both play and splash made me feel so grateful to be their Mommy. And even though he THINKS he's a superior swimmer, I'm SO thankful that Mike has a job that lets him be home for the summer to enjoy these special moments as they learn, grow, and change right before our eyes. 

The Patience of Job

I know I haven't posted in a while, and I'm sorry for that (especially to you precious few who actually READ my blog!). I've had kind of a heavy heart lately. Nothing in particular has been going wrong in my own life, but there are so many people around me suffering - and the weight of it all has inundated me, in a way. I've not felt very creative (or lighthearted for that matter), and it seems that all I've wanted to do is sit around and NOT DO. It's like a case of the Monday's that has lasted a week!  

I met with my women's small group on Monday night, and we're reading the book The Bible Jesus Read, by Philip Yancey. If you're looking for a small group study, this one is already becoming a favorite of mine. We just finished a study on the book of Job, and it blew my mind.

 

When you think of Job, you probably think of his suffering; God's "testing" of Job's faith. What Yancey enlightened me to, is the fact that we are allowed to feel pain, to be upset, to be in agony, to feel despair. Just because we know that God is in control, doesn't always make it better, does it? He gives evidence of this by pointing to the fact that Job essentially "let God have it" (see Job 7:17-19, 10:20-21, 14:18-22, 16:7-9) Yancey observes that "Job did not take his pain meekly; he cried out in protest to God."

We don't have to "fake it" and plaster a smile to our face, like we Christians so often do (or are even told to do). It's alright to be hurt, angry, confused, frustrated...as long as it's HONEST. Yes, bad things happen, and yes, we are given license to feel the weight of our frustration.  What really matters to God, is our FAITH; what choice we will make. Will we choose to keep our faith in the Lord? Or will we curse him? 

Yancey says, "Job presents the astounding truth that our choices of faith matter not just to us and our own destiny but, amazingly, to God himself....How we respond matters. By hanging onto the thinnest thread of faith, Job won a crucial victory in God's grand plan to redeem the earth. In his grace, God has given ordinary men and women the dignity of participating in the redemption of the cosmos."

 Job kept the faith (but let God have it in the process!), and God rewarded him double for his faithfulness.

A final thought from Yancey: "When a Job-like circumstance happens to you, I guarantee that someone has been there before you. And that's the old man Job. Because he was honest, because he was so eloquent, he's like a pioneer. He has gone ahead of us. So if you wonder, Should I really feel that? Should I really say that to God? you can relax and say, "Well, yeah, that's okay because Job already did."

I hope in some way this resonates with you, like it did with me. 

For What It's Worth

So I just finished watching my DVR'd episode of the Jon & Kate Plus 8 Season Premiere...and I am SO SAD. Yes, I've read all the tabloid gossip about them (and am a little bit ashamed for it) and had seen the previews for this season, so I'm not surprised to know they've been having problems. You always wonder what's true and what isn't, but to actually watch them during the confession time of the premier saying that they weren't sure their marriage would make it actually made my stomach hurt. To see a REAL marriage dissolving on television is heartbreaking, especially when there are 8 precious children involved. 

I know this begs the question...why am I so wrapped up in this "reality" TV show?

For starters, I've watched this show from the very first episode. Their sextuplets are only a year older than my oldest, Cody, so it has been fascinating to watch them grow and develop. It was fun for me to see how Kate handled all 8 of her kids, knowing that I would soon be experiencing some of the same things, albeit on a singular level. Whenever I got overwhelmed with something, like changing diapers, I would literally say to myself, "Well if Kate can do it with eight, then I can sure do it with one (and after I had Tyler, two)!".

The other thing about Jon & Kate that has resonated with me from the very beginning is their faith. They chose not to "reduce" when they were first told of their being pregnant with septuplets (if you didn't know, the 7th did not fully mature, so they ended up with sextuplets naturally). Do I know them personally? No. I can't be sure that either one of them is saved, but I'm pretty sure they profess to be Christians. They actively talked about God on their show, were shown taking their kids to church, and even wore clothing printed with scripture verses. For me, to see this Christian marriage headed for divorce is even more devastating.

The thing that struck me as the most odd, is both of them saying, "I'm here for my kids" over and over again. Yes, we get it. Clearly, their children are their first priority. But should they be? I understand that they are trying to protect their kids from the media, and from the painfulness of this situation. But shouldn't EACH OTHER be their first priority? It's pretty clear that one or both of them has checked out on the marriage, and that is what's sad to me.

I've always thought (and this is just my opinion here, so take it or leave it) that any time you put your child(ren)'s needs before the needs of your spouse you are walking in dangerous territory. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. Are there times when your child(ren)'s needs will come before your spouse's? Of course, just ask any mother of a newborn :). However, when this becomes the norm, be careful! 

That's just my two cents for the evening...for what it's worth. I'm hoping/praying that Jon & Kate can salvage their marriage!

He Watched

My four year old, Cody, had his wellness checkup with the doctor today. He had to have a vision screening, hearing screening, finger prick for blood work, and four shots . He did great up until it was time for the needles. Round one was the finger prick. He began to whimper. Round two was the first set of shots. He screamed so loud and so high that I'm quite sure every dog within a 5 mile radius started barking. And then came round three, the second set of shots. I still can't hear anything out of my right ear.

It's times like these when being a Mom is tough. 

Like most parents, when my children were born I vowed to protect them from danger. For my husband and I, this meant having them vaccinated. While I realize this route is not for everyone, it was the best choice for our family. However, having to physically restrain my child while someone jabs sharp objects into him goes against EVERY FIBER of my being. When I say EVERY FIBER, I mean I literally had to remind myself not to punch the nurse in the face!

Driving home from the doctor's office, I looked into my rearview mirror at my little boy, eyes still red from crying. It struck me that the way I was feeling must have paled in comparison to what God felt when He sent His only Son to die for the sins of the world. 

He watched as the crowds shouted at Him (Mark 15:13-14).

He watched as the soldiers beat Him (Mark 15:15) and forced a crown of thorns onto His head (Mark 15:17)

He watched as His only Son breathed His last breath (Mark 15:37).

For you.

For me.

The next time you wipe a tear from your child's cheek or kiss away the pain - remember that you have a Heavenly Father who loves you so much...that He watched.

A little bit of balance...

A dear friend of mine got a card in the mail that said, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" on the outside. On the inside of the card it said, "When life gives you crap, don't make anything...trust me."

How very true.

Life has given me a little...ok, a lot, of crap lately...in the very literal sense of the word. If you don't believe me, just read some of my previous posts. So, I felt the need to balance out all of my "crap" talk with something a little more spiritual.

From time to time, when I'm trying to figure stuff out,  bible verses that pertain to my situation seem to spring up into my brain from nowhere (actually, I do believe it's because of the Holy Spirit, and they spring up because of all the many hours of memorization work I did during my Christian school days...thank you WA!).

Here's a few that popped up recently...kind of a "God's Promises" for MY every need:

Romans 12:1-2 - I was wondering what God's will is for a situation/is it my will or His I'm listening to?

Psalm 139 - I was just feeling down in the dumps...but God KNOWS me AND LOVES ME ANYWAY!

Proverbs 31 - I was struggling with what exactly it looks like to God to be a good wife and mom...sometimes I forget!

1 John 4:4 - God is bigger!

My mom reminded me yesterday of the verse "From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks" (Luke 6). Nothing like your own mom to call you out! But I love her for it...because she got me thinking about the condition of my heart. When you speak, what does it say about YOUR heart?

Hope this blesses you in some small way...if not, I could always go back to talking about poop :)

Confession Time

I feel the need to confess some stuff...you know, air some of my own dirty laundry.  Feel free to commiserate, or hold me accountable :)

1) I have been complaining WAY too much lately. I think as a mom we sometimes get into ruts, groundhog days, whatever you want to call them. Instead of making the best of each trying situation, I've found that instead I've just been really vocal about my dissatisfaction.

2) I've been way too lenient with my almost-four-year-old, Cody. He has been giving me some serious attitude lately. Most of the time I correct it, but since Mike's knee surgery, I think most of my energies are spent just getting him (and myself, Mike and Tyler, too) fed, dressed, and out the door to wherever it is we need to go. All that to say, I haven't put much energy into spiritual development. People tell me that he's just asserting his independence, that it's a stage he'll grow out of...but I'm beginning to wonder. I definitely feel the need to tighten up the ship. No more sparing the rod...ya know? I want him to reap good fruit one day, so I need to sow the seeds of good discipline now, right?

3) I'm totally a space cadet when it comes to money and bills. Mike's been telling me this for years, because he does all of our bill keeping (I think when you're not the one earning the money it's easier not to think about how you spend it). I don't mean that I just spend spend spend with no thought; I don't believe that I'm frivolous in that way. I just don't know where my/our money goes. I'm bad about receipts, and could probably spend Mike's entire paycheck at the grocery store (I just love that place). Our small group has been doing a bible study that has totally opened my eyes to this fact. Something to work on as well.

4) I think I have a lot of patience with complete strangers, but have a hard time extending that same patience to my own family. Why is that?

Ok, I think that might be enough for now. We all have our struggles...you just got a peek at mine. The joy I have in all this is knowing that God loves me anyway, and that there's nothing I can do to separate myself from his unfailing love. Thank you, Lord!