It's Not You, It's Me...Well, It's A Little You

I apologize for my lack of post-age (say it like Pauly Shore). I'm not intentionally ignoring you, dear Internet. I'm just really trying to get my stuff together for this conference that is NEXT WEEK! 

*grabs a bag* *hyperventilates for a moment* *puts bag down* *smooths hair*

I finally polished up the synopsis to an agreeable level, that level being one where I don't want to kill msyelf after I've read it (score one for Team Beth) and am currently working on my one-sheet. Business cards have been ordered (and they are SUPER cute thanks to my good friend Jodi at Leapfrog Creations) and outfits have been chosen.

I'm also trying really hard not to re-read my manuscript over and over to the point of insanity, because this girl? She likes to edit things into non-existence. If I were an actress, I would NEVER watch my own movies because I am way too critical. Okay, maybe I would, but only because in MY movies (the ones in my head) I would always be co-starring with...well, you don't need to hear that now do you? Maybe someday I'll tell, like if my book gets published and then made into a movie, because then it will be OBVIOUS!

Where are you in your journey? Drafting? Editing? Querying? Hyperventilating? Waiting?

Pumpkin Stuff - It'll Change Your Life

This is a repost, but I thought it was appropriate for the time of year. This recipe is TO DIE FOR...so go out, get your ingredients, and get to it!

Happy (almost) Halloween!!

My sweet friend, Jodi, shared this AMAZING recipe, and I thought that all of you beautiful people deserved to have it, too. Speaking of amazing things, Jodi is an incredibly talented photographer and graphic designer, so you should also hop on over to Leapfrog Creations and check out her site. Thanks, Jodi, for the delicious recipe!

Pumpkin Stuff

1 15 oz. of canned pumpkin
1 can of evaporated milk
1 cup of sugar, regular white
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
3 Eggs (slightly beaten)

Mix all of that in a bowl, pour in a greased 9 X 13 pan

On top of that spread the following 3 ingredients below: Do not make the cake as directed, just crumble the whole cake mix, just powder stuff, on top of the pumpkin mixture. You can add the pecans if you want. I didn't and it was still awesome. But I am sure it would be great with them, because they would be on the top and they would get all toasted up YUM!! Yes, I said just the powder stuff, just trust me, it will work. On top of the cake mix and nuts, as evenly as you can, pour on the 2 sticks of butter. If there are some areas that are still powdery, it works out, so don't worry.

1 Yellow Butter Cake Mix
1 cup chopped Pecans (optional)
2 sticks of butter, melted

Bake in a 350 oven for 50 - 60 minutes

Frosting: Make while the pumpkin stuff is baking

1 8 oz. block of cream cheese (softened)
1 cup powdered sugar
2 cups of Cool Whip (thawed)

Mix these 3 ingredients together. I got out the electric mixer to make it smooth, but the recipe didn't call for that. After the Pumpkin Stuff has cooled, smear the frosting all over. Quite delicious still warm, but I think even better cold, the next day. Store in the fridge, if there is anything left.

*Photo courtesy of Google Images

Conference Jitters

I'll be attending the South Carolina Writers Workshop Conference in just about two weeks, and I have MUCH to do. I'm putting the final touches on my synopsis, one-sheet, and ordering my business cards. 

I have to be honest...it feels a little surreal. I'm not just talking to family and blog friends about being a writer - I'm actually going to be talking to agents (I have a pitch session with THE Rachelle Gardner - this is my happy dance *I apologize for the H-word*) and editors and authors (people who have actually PUBLISHED something!) about my being a writer. *deep breath*

I'm trying not to let myself get psyched out. I've done the work, I've done the research - now all I have to do is put myself out there and see what happens. Hopefully, it won't be a train wreck. Hopefully, I won't make any embarrassing mistakes. HOPEFULLY someone will like my idea.

If not? Well, at least I'll have two nights of uninterrupted sleep and I'll get to eat at least 4 meals without my kids asking if they can have some (and by "some" they mean "ALL" of it).

There's always a silver lining, right? :)

Are you nervous about anything right now? Can you find the silver lining?

Whistle While You Work

I woke up smiling today, and that is NOT something that happens very frequently, trust me (or just ask my husband, remember he got me this shirt?). It could be the gorgeous weather outside, which is sunny and cold enough to drink a caramel apple cider (my favorite!) without sweating to death.  However, I'm pretty sure it's because we're all healthy again, having put the terror that is the stomach virus behind us.

TANGENT ALERT: Why on earth is it referred to as a stomach bug? A bug is something small (unless you live in Florida - then I get it. Those palmetto bugs are HUGE!) that can be easily squashed. Calling the heinous and destructive virus that went through our house a "bug" just doesn't seem to do it justice - stomach ninja or stomach assassin seems more appropriate, don't you think?

I'm off to clean up some of the aftermath of last week. Wish I had some furry forest creatures like the lucky, er, girl up there in the picture to help me do it - WHY CAN'T FAIRY TALES BE TRUE??? But before I go, I want to say THANK YOU to all of you who sent prayers and well wishes our way this last week...I appreciated them so very much. 

Whose fairy tale would you like to live?

a) Snow White

b) Sleeping Beauty

c) Cinderella

d) Belle (Beauty and the Beast)

(My answer is D - she might live with a beast, but he's got a GREAT library!)

What Day Is It?

*Photo courtesy of Google Images

I've just recovered from a vicious stomach bug, which attacked 3 of the 4 people in this house. I can honestly say I have never loved my husband (the only one spared from this horrifying virus - you'll see why in a moment) more than I do right now. He is my hero, my knight in shining armor, wielding his can of Lysol like a sword and slaying the invisible germs of death with ease.

Internet, I can do colds. I can do sore throats, stuffy heads, coughing, and sneezing. What I CANNOT do is puking. And OHHHH THE PUKING that happened in this house two nights ago. Oh, I'm sorry. Does the word "puke" make you uncomfortable? PUUUUUUKE.* At one point, I'm pretty sure I asked the Good Lord to take me home, and I'm almost sure I meant it. I wanted to die. I thought I was dying.

Every once in a while I would see a strange Avatar-like creature with a blue face and blue hands. I thought it could be an angel, only the angels I'd read about in the Bible weren't blue. Only after the fever broke did I realize it was my sweet husband wearing a blue medical mask and blue latex gloves on his hands, deftly avoiding the plague that was upon us. I married a smarty, Internet.

Today is the first day I'm actually able to get out of bed without feeling like I'm going to fall over, what with all the dehydration and lack of food and all. And it feels GLORIOUS. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the weather is lovely. I'm going to sit outside and enjoy the fresh air this weekend, and I hope you all can do the same.

Happy Weekend, everyone!

*I apologize for my rudeness. I blame the virus. I believe the adorable cat picture makes up for it? No? I'll try again next week.

Plotters and Pantsers and Pretty Woman, Oh My!

The lovely Roni Loren over at Fiction Groupie did a great post a couple of weeks ago on Plotters vs. Pantsers. I remember reading it thinking that I am absolutely a pantser, just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (minus the hooker part, of course). I even replayed the scene in my head where Julia's character, Vivian, says to Richard Gere's character, Edward (no, you can't call him "Eddie"), "I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal."

However, my pantser story doesn't end with a man hanging out of the top of a white limo wielding flowers in lieu of a sword, clearly coming to my rescue. Lord, I wish it did. (Actually, I would give him a red sharpie instead of a sword, to slash my manuscript to pieces. I would call him "Eddy", short for EDITOR...get it? I know, I'm insane.) Instead my pantser story ends with me pulling my already thinning hair out because I've lost myself in my story. I'm up to my eyeballs in edits and I can now see the gaping holes due to my lack of preparation (just like Roni said I would!). Can I fix them? Most likely. Will it be painful? Absolutely.

Thankfully, I have already begun to learn from my mistakes, creating a rough outline for my second book before I even BEGIN to write it. I don't want to get too detailed with my outline, because I'm still a pantser and I thoroughly enjoy not knowing ALL the details before I write (because a lot of them change in the process anyway). I do hope, however, that at least with a rough outline of my plot and characters that I won't find myself in such a stressful position the next time around.

What about you? Plotter or Pantser - or a little of both? Has being either one given you trouble in the longrun?

Momisms

A great friend of mine from college, Lauren, recently opened a discussion on Facebook asking her friends to post their "momisms". For example, Lauren shared this little gem: I have mastered the art of a quick shower...I am a mom.


Below are just some of the awesome responses. I've taken the liberty of borrowing some of them and fixing them because I'm anal like that, so that they all sound the same. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did.

• I have realized I will never be on time for anything again in my life. I have gone to work with spit up in my hair and not noticed till noon...I am a mom.
• I have realized I will not be able to poop alone for many years...I am a mom.
• I have an arsenal of statements at the ready so that I don't have to share my food (This is too spicy for you, Oops - I ate it all, This is really gross - you don't want this) ...I am a mom.
• I have learned to eat an entire meal while nursing...I am a mom.
• I now look for coupons for Preparation H...I am a mom.
• At the store, I push a cart filled with about 50lbs of human before I ever even get to the supplies...I am a mom. *
• I fart in public and then blame the kid closest to me - works every time...I am a mom. *
• I know the names of every character in the cartoons and have seen almost every episode at least twice...I am a mom.
• There are days that I dont have time to brush my teeth till I'm going to bed...I am a mom!  
• I have perfected the evaluation of each successive cry of, "Dad!" by intensity, volume, and urgency, and no longer appear until actually needed...I am a mom. *
• I not only know all of the lyrics to the Spongebob theme song, as I am singing it with my 11 year old, the baby is spitting squash in my face and I don't miss a note...I am a mom.
• I have mastered using my left hand to hold my breast pump and painting my toenails with my right hand...I am a mom (with cute toes).*

*Denotes a personal favorite


What is your momism? Feel free to chime in. Dads and parents of furry kids are welcome too!